What is the Big Bong Theory?

Hey Skippy, you’re so smart. What the hecks the deal with Big Bong creating the Universe, anyway?

--C. Sagan, Heavenly, IN

Good question, fathead.

One of the reasons Skippy have had erective surgery to install a metal plate in the ol’ Butterbean was to increase the ability to pick up radio singles. Pacifically, Skippy hopes to someday regurgitate a extra-centrifugal message from a space alien. So far the closest Skippy has got is he can now catch Lou Dobbs in High Deaf.

As many of you know, we live in a 3 billion year old Galaxie. Skippy once had a 1978 Galaxie and droved the wheels of it by 1963, so that's really a amazing statistic. So remember, if you drive, always take your car. Don’t forget to change the oil every 3,000 miles or 300 light years, whichever comes first.

I'm no rocket surgeon but it doesn’t seem far-fetched that there is Extracurricular Life in our Underwear. Maybe not even medium fetched. Perhaps near fetched.

Many scientologists who’ve been studying the Universal, believe “space” is not empty, and indeed, Duck Matter and Hydrogen Grass causes Galaxies to be so dense. My question is: If we can send a man to the Moon? Answer that first, and then we’ll talk Duck Matter. Why a duck? Groucho Marx. “Lady, I love my Cigar too, but I take it out sometimes.”

But Skippy digresses.

In the not to distant past, Skippy will more fuller explain the Big Bong on this wedsite. The Big Bong is the reasons why many Altruists don’t believe in God and vice versa.

But Skippy asks the musical question, if all life started with the Big Bong? And anyway, who created the Big Bong in the first place? Explain that if you can. And while you’re at it, tell Skippy just what the Hell is the appeal of “Duncing with the Stars?” They can’t dance, and they certainly are not stars.

So that’s how our Galaxie was formed, which is really just a Pinto on Steroids.