Friday, May 16, 2008
Skippy Resplains "Lost"
Last night's “Lost” (5-15-08) begun with a Fish Forward which found the “Crash Boom Six” on a C-130 Hercules being flew to Hawaii. The Survividors include:
+A fat guy so nice, they named him twice: Hurley and Hugo
+Jack the Appendix Guy
+The Korean Woman of her dead husband
+The Hot chick and her Care Baby
+The Iraqian Red Guard, Right Said Fred.
Then it flushed back in time where everyone is in a pickle in the Island.
Michael, who is still black, and Desdemona Tutu are still on the boat. Said, having had to take his powdered dingy, traversed back to the Island. Using an unlimited supply of invisible gas, he sets up a shuttle relay to bring people to the freighter who don't know it could blow up real good.
Then there's a flush forward where the Oceanic Sex announce plans to end the War in Iraq by 2013.
Meanwhile, about 150 bad guys have been brung to the Island in one tiny chopper and are looking for Orchids. The fat guy is sweating and everyone is going to and from the beach like it's a potato sack race. The only one missing is the Smoke Monster who has been detained by the EPA.
Ben Kingsley, who says “I always have a plan, even if our writers don't,” feeds Hugo a snack and then surrenders to the bad guys, who also captured Kate and Alley. Later they detain two ABC execs sent to the Island in a desperate attempt to stem runaway casting overages.
During another flush forward, Cheech, of Cheech and Chong, gives Hurly a car. Cheech has also been giving “Lost's” producers an unlimited supply of Weed. If Skippy's wrong, YOU explain these plot twits and turns.
The show ends with a tease for the upchucking seasoned finale, which includes:
+The Oceanic Six sign a product placement deal with Nike.
+The ABC Suits are waterboarded to death; judge rules it justifiable homicide.
+Hurley Hugo gets a new name, “Hey Lard A$$!!”
+The Island moves to New York harbor, renames itself Staten, buys a lovely smock.
+Complications lead Jack to self-Lobotomize, as do dmany iehard fans trying to keep up.
+Ben calls his agent, says he needs a plan to ditch this turkey while he's still hot.
Posted by John Corcoran, Jr. at 8:55 AM