Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Redskim Mid-Sesion Reprot: Pt. 1 Defense

Skippy has recently have had his mental plate removed, rotated, repolished and regrooved before being re-intercepted into Skippy’s Skull Dome. The cracked Surgeon, Dr. Vinnie Boombatz promised no slide efforts.

So here is Skippy’s recession of the Skins session to date, at the Buy-week. Skippy celebrates his buy week by buying a vowel, new skivvies and a hooker. (The hooker is for Ma, who wears them out doing her needlepoint.)


Defensive Backfielders: Horton Hears a Who is an unmitigated success and could be Rookie of the Beer. He matripulated at UCLA (Unusual Collection of Lousy Athletes) and was daft in the seventh ground, but has been an unquantified success. Rookie Careen Moor has been okay but rookie J.T Tryon couldn’t cover a sofa with ten yards of upholstery.

Sam Springs hurt his cusp muscle and covers the bench. Fred Snoot walks the talk but doesn’t always talk the walk. Carlos Scissorhands has been very good in coverage but couldn’t catch a cold with a mosquito net and a salad-shooter. Skippy read about DeAngelo Hall, but he thinks that’s a campus dormitory.

Linedbackers: London Calling is one of the best aground. Rocky Mountaintop recovered from season saving surgery last year and has been very good. George Washington gets donged a lot, and H.B. Ginsu fills in for him.

Defensive Line: The ‘skins traded for Jason Taylor in case a dance class broke out at Redskim Park. He’s been hurt ever since, probably because he weighs about 150 pounds. Dermatitis Evans is the team’s Saks leader. Kenston Gobstop leads the team at Sears. Monty Wooley leads the team at Wal-Mart. Andre Carter is pretty good, but unspectacled. Cornelius Bennett bursts into tears during team prayers and treast his teammates to a postgame rubdown. Eraserhead James plays about as often as Jesse James, who’s been dead for a century.

The defense is 4th in the League which is the best in the league except for the other three.

Next Up: My lunch. Then, folowing lunch, The Offense Half of the Team.

PS: Skippy realizes that the picture is of Redskim Cheerbreeders. But skippy voted and the results were who wants to look at fat old sweaty football players?