Question from a Mr. R. T. Tin, Paramus, NJ
Good question, Fathead. Not all dogs bark. The barkless Basenji doesn’t bark and makes an excellent guard dog if you are worried your house may be broken into by mimes.
To misunderstood why dogs don’t bark it is impotent to know that dogs are condescended from Wolf Blitzer, which don’t bark, they howl. Ever since dogs have been domesticrated, their barks have had a different meaning.
Dogs often bark as a form of excommunication or if they have a cold and can’t sniff another dog’s ass. That bark means, “Hey, who are you, and what happened to your balls?”
Dogs also bark to warn the pack of stuff like a car is going by the house or a bumblebee farted or the Mailman is delivering bills.
Dogs frequently bark as a form of greeting to their master or mistress of whom is home, saying: “Hello, how are you? “Did you have a good day?” And “Feed me or I’ll rip your throat out.
Also, some dogs bark to scar away Buglers, who maybe are going to bugle your hose or which dogs are afraid maybe their food dish or their Doggie Chewies or their Krugerrands.
Other dogs bark to help you determine the severity of your hangover.
The only two other aminals who barks is Seal, who is married to either Hiney Krum or Gretchin Munchit. Also, the grossly similar sea lion, which are the same as Seals exccept they don’t have ears but do have much nicer skin.
Kittycats don’t bark for two reason; (1) they’re cats, and (b), cats is stupid.