Monday, April 7, 2008

Who Should the Redskims Draft?

In the previous recent past, the Redskims have given away their draft picks for overpaid players who reinvented the word "Suckage." This year they are overthrowning that tradition, and going back to squandering their picks themselfs.

The Redskims, of who Skippy is a big fan, have nine draft picks this year to waste, so there is a lot of pressure on selecting exactly the wrong players to pick. Fortunately, the Odor, Dan Snyder, and his Devoted Towelboy, Vinnie Cerratsosrizzo, get to make all the picks, so Skippy asks you--what could go right?

Skippy thinks the Redskims should continue their First Round tradition of drafting a receiver who can't catch anything more constipated than a cold. If he's available, Skippy suggests Lime-as$ Sweedish, the tall drink of water from the University of Dubya. He's 6 foot four, or four foot six, and has good hands but a bad wrist, injured in a tragic corsage accident.

Skippy's Redskim Chair

Second round choice should either be a linebacker with a bad knee (a la Rocky Balboatosh) or a DT with a bad back like that guy with the bad back they drafted who name Skippy has mercifully forgotted.

There are two third round choices to be squattered, so Skippy recommends one be traded for a RB who can't run, Like T.J. Duckmeister, the other donated to the Red Cross. Otherwise it would just be some WR signed for an obscene amount of money he wont urn, like Brando Lloyd.

The lower round choices take care of themselfs. Skippy suggests a QB who'll later join his brother with the Bengals or a center with a smallish package.

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