Thursday, April 17, 2008

How Do You Cure Gobel Warning?

Question from A. Gore, Goreville, TN

Maybe some of you have saw years ago that in the town of the Philippine, which is an island, or actually a series of Islands surrounded by sinking ferries. These ferries come from nearby continentals and Archie Pelligrinos, not that there's anything wrong with that--as Gary Seinfeld might say, were he were alive today.

When Mount Pinafloydturbo esploded, it cooled the earp for years because of massive amounts of ground up suits and vulcanized liver flung up from its Volvo. This particular volcano is not to be confused with Krapatoa, East of Java, the coffee Volcano. Interesting movie fact: Krapatoa is actually West of Java.

But that’s not your question. How do you cure Gobel Warning? Afterall, you can start an insurance fire, but not a flood or a Volcano. Skippy suggests then, with all cerealness, that you do it by putting an atomic bum or some other sort of unclear dervish in the middle of Mount St. Hellmans, which blowed up real good a few years ago.

This former previous explosion threw Mount St. Hellman's ash out of its ash hole waaaaay up into the sky and it got caught up in the Van Allen Belt, which cured the Gobel Warning for a year or two. Or maybe I'm confusing it with Van Allen’s suspenders.

But those are just the facts, and as Yogi Bear once put it, "90 percent of all hitting is half mental."

There is a downside, howeverwise. If too big a bum is interrupted in Mount St. Hellman’s ashhole, it might put up more ash in the Ashmosphere than is needed. Then Gobel Warning would become Gobel Colding and President George W. Dubya might insist everyone dig for oil in their backyard so we can heat up the planet with facile fools.

So, in short, let Skippy reiterate an opinion in polar opposite to the opinion previously iterated, or as Floyd might say, never mind.

No comments: